Wednesday, August 28, 2013

twenty one.

For a long time all I wanted for my birthday was one of these.

I mean, the expressions on these kids' faces says it all. I thought maybe this was the funnest thing in the world. More fun than bacon, which was my favorite food around the time I dreamt of Barbie Jeeps. Before I went to bed, I would pray to Santa Claus and the birthday gods to bring me one. 

He never did. I'm grateful for that. Having a Barbie Jeep would have boosted my ego way too much, I was also, at this time, the universe's funniest comedian. 

Fast forward to nowtimes. Today I got to take some of my lovely-souled friends out for breakfast at my favorite ever place.

And then I received this from my mother.

I would like to report that these things are better than any Barbie Jeep ever. I would like to report that I have a life I'm very lucky to have. I would like to report that most everything is perfect.

I would also like to report that I'm twenty-one now. And educate myself about wine, I will. 

To everyone I've come in contact with throughout this twentieth year of my existence, I thank you. It's been one filled with soul-searching and laughs and so much love and learning. I've grown tremendously, and that's because of all of you! Everysingleperson.

Happy birthday to me.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

an open letter to breathing, books, and blogs.

I've been reading this book, right? Self-help lady guru Gabrielle Bernstein was introduced to me by sister Sam. I'm currently in the process of finishing May Cause Miracles. Let me tell you. This book came at the right time. This early graduation-futuretimes uncertainty-being hard on myself terrible soup I've made for myself wasn't going over very well. But through this 40 day process (I'm not done yet), I've been reminded of the importance of breathing, gratitude, forgiveness, and love. That fear doesn't have to ruin everything, that creative abundance is a thing and will forever be a thing, that all relationships should be thought of with equal amounts of love and attention, that success will come if you believe in it and yourself, that forgiveness is always a good answer, and that if you fill yourself with love, your world will do the same.

I certainly don't mean to preach.

All I'm saying is that I was totally lacking love. I needed more. And right now I feel more apt to think with it. It's totally a book recommendation.

I realized needed a break from blogging. It was becoming something it should never be: a source of jealousy, competition, and anxiety. I needed to be reminded why I love it, that it motivates me to write, photograph, and try new things. I want to feel that motivation again, and that will only come with positive thoughts invested in blogging. No more jealousy or comparison: from now on, this blog becomes a place for learning and expressing and sharing. Anxiety and creativity don't mesh for me.

You guys. I'm totally ready for this new mindset, this new school year, this new attitude. I'm excited to enter everything with more love and fullness that ever.

OKAY ALSO. If you're not watching Orange is the New Black on the Netflix, you're need to.

And with that,

I'm am done for today.